I recently attended a gorgeous corporate event at The Grand Beach Cafe. It was my very first time and I was very impressed. I was probably so impressed because I didn’t have to pick up the cheque at the end of the evening. I’ve heard The Grand can be incredibly overpriced.

But let’s not talk about the price tag.

Let’s talk about the lovely food, the great service and the incredible venue.

The venue really has it all in terms of WOW factor! Gorgeous high ceilings, white wash furniture, white candles in blue glass and blood red roses, sand underneath your toes and a private beach to stare at whilst contemplating your first world problems over a priceless pizza.

I tried one of these giant pizzas that cost an arm and a leg. They were delicious! Thin based, crispy, sweet tomato pasata and gorgeous gooey mozzarella. I have no idea what it cost but it was a damn fine pizza. I would be very tempted to try more of their pizzas with more toppings. These giant pizzas could easily be shared between two for a main course and four people as a snack with drinks.

The honeydew melon with Parma was delicious but there were some serious banting fuckers out that night- and the parma got pulled off with the naked smiling melons left on the tray. The banting fuckers also got to the salmon and the roast beef with little crostinis left only dressed in rocket! Don’t even get me started on this banting stuff.

I ate the entire thing – crostini bread and all – and you know what Tim Noakes- it was delicious! The rare roast beef with Bearnaise sauce and rocket on crostinis were outstanding and I hear they do a beef fillet with a Bearnaise sauce for a main which is top notch.

The smoked salmon and creme fraiche on crostini was pretty damn good too- with plenty of salmon and crunchy crostinis really hitting the spot.


Now the cocktails! They were delicious and kept coming all night! Again- feel sorry for the guy who has to pick up the bill! My favourite was the pink cocktail which I’m guessing was some kind of Cosmo? Sweet and delicious!

The Pimms like cocktail with lots of fruit and a really sneaky alcohol kick was also a serious winner. And the Mojito got lots of requests too- lots of mint and lots of lime.

So The Grand was wonderful! The venue is seriously something – visit The Grand even if its for a cocktail and your toes in the sand! And those pizzas! Hopefully I’ll be back soon with a few friends to split a pizza!




  • Location: Granger Bay Road (off Beach Road), Granger Bay
  • Opening times: Monday to Sunday 12pm til late (subject to seasonal variation)
  • Contact details: 021 425 0551

ps- don’t go on their website it blasts horrible music at you!

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